Thursday, October 15, 2009

global emotional climate change


You can say that again!

Here's a simple change that will improve all the relationships in your life.

When someone around you does something that is worth a compliment, don't settle for just one. Give them a complement, wait a day, and then give it to them again.

If everyone does this, it will double the power of these words to shape and recreate behaviors around you in a way that justifies the compliments. Positive thoughts will persist longer than negative ones.

It seems so simple.
It is so powerful.

The basic lessons from computer science and neural networks is that you can get whatever behavior you want to train out of the network without ever requiring "negative" feedback. Negative feedback is inefficient, in that it says " Picture X -- now don't do that!" It gives no clue as to what to do instead, and it brings back into mind the wrong picture while doing it.

In fact, Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) would say that the brain processes the "not" in a different place than the X, so you are basically refocusing the person on X, with a distant "not" in there. The result is to hit the emotional brakes, remove energy, and suspend operations.

Alternatively, praising the correct behavior, or even an GLIMMER or GLIMPSE of the correct (or desired) behavior focuses energy on THAT track, and at the same time BOOSTS energy and morale.

Also, even if it did succeed, negative feedback would get less and less frequent, and therefore less and less powerful, as behavior shifted to the desired course. On the other hand, positive feedback would get more and more frequent, and therefore more and more powerful and effective, as behavior shifts.

Again, the conclusion is -- expect and reward any trace of behavior you are looking for, and do that consistently, and you will in fact create and generate the behaviors you are looking for.

No comments: